Most people want to be liked by others. In fact, we really want others to
love who we are. Who wouldn’t want it said of them that we are a ‘lovely
But there’s a problem with this.
First of all, we have to love who we are ourselves. And that’s where things
start to go horribly wrong. For instead of liking and loving ourselves, a vast
number of the human population don’t like who they are at all. Very few
would say they actually love being who they are.
Don’t be confused. A lot of us like what we do, our job or what we have, but
still don’t like who we are. I may love being a famous footballer, entertainer,
chef, plumber… whatever. It doesn’t mean I like being me.
Does this matter?
If we don’t like being who we are, then all our life choices, our behaviours,
our attitudes and our actions will reflect this. So much so, that it will be
painfully obvious to all who come in contact with us or have to live with us.
The impact of liking ourselves
If we have a clear understanding of what and who we are, we will live a
very different kind of life than if we don’t. Being at peace with who I am,
and actually loving being myself, will produce most, if not all of the following
not be concerned about what others think of me;
be more confident when meeting people including strangers;
be more prepared to express myself;
be more assertive in challenging situations;
make better, healthier choices;
abstain from self-harm;
take more care of my body, mind and spirit;
find pleasure in new challenges;
see endless possibilities in the world around me;
be able to look at people when I speak with them;
be less interested in doing things that I currently engage in, in order to
have other people like me.
be able to talk and engage with others who have very different ideas
and beliefs to my own, simply because I know who I am and am not
afraid to discuss things that I don’t believe in, because I no longer feel
pressured to agree with people in order to be liked.
Are these some things you think are worth pursuing?
Identity and Uniqueness
… explore the possibilities
Where to from here …
Why such an emphasis on Identity in