Why don’t we talk about

Self-Esteem on this site?

Back around the early eighties, the term Self-Esteem began to be heard. It was one of those expressions that quickly took hold in society. It all seemed like a good idea. Teachers started using it, parents learnt about it, judges and lawyers started using it, social workers, counsellors and psychologists started writing about it. As a counsellor, I have conducted many presentations to small groups on the topic of our self-image, and have asked the question many times, “What does the term Self-Esteem mean?” There is always a wide range of opinions on what people think it is, but the common agreement is that Self-Esteem is the positive value we put on ourselves. It is also known as Self-Worth. Much was and still is being written about it. People like Nathaniel Branden said, “Self-esteem is the single most significant key to human behaviour.” Stanley Coopersmith wrote, “Self-esteem is a personal judgement of worthiness that is expressed in the attitudes the individual holds toward himself.” Others have gone as far as saying, “It is a matter of the extent to which we experience ourselves as appropriate to life and to the requirements of life.”    Wow. That sounds really serious. But it all seems quite acceptable doesn’t it. Except for one thing. It has all gone horribly wrong! It has become a disastrous way of seeing yourself.

Find out why it’s no longer useful …

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The beliefs we hold about ourselves will determine our choices and behaviours
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